7 Tips for Finding Happiness

By Jill Neimark

Connecting with others and feeling a sense of oneness with life itself brings lasting happiness--and that connection can take many forms, from a warm hug to the rapture we feel in nature to our work on a creative project that touches others. It is when we give of ourselves that we find ourselves. Here are seven tips for permanent happiness, all based on reaching out and offering yourself to life.

1. Make a Celebratory Visit
This is a special visit that celebrates what someone else means to you and what they have given to you. It is a joyous form of gratitude, which has been proven in studies to boost mood and health. First, sit down and write a thank-you letter to someone for whom you feel deep love and gratitude. Describe their qualities, such as courage, loyalty, kindness, wit, persistence. Then visit that person, and read your heartfelt description. Celebrate with them the miracle of their life and their presence in yours.

2. Look at the Big Picture
Remember that you are an essential part of a very alive universe--no matter how tough your day or week or year might be. You are part of the greater whole, the weave of life and all of humanity. You can remind yourself of that feeling by looking up at the night sky, or going to a religious service where everybody joins hands and sings, or even volunteering at an animal shelter. Your life has ups and downs, but embrace the large scale of all of life in its great diversity with a huge hug.

3. Be a Keeper of Meaning
Knowing that your life has meaning brings a deep-down satisfaction that offers lasting happiness. One wonderful way to experience more meaning is to bring meaning to the lives of others by teaching them a special skill of yours--whether it's a new language, a new recipe, how to sail, or simply how to listen and be a caring person. You have something unique to share.

4. Forgive Yourself
Okay, you've made mistakes. We all have. Going over (and over) your missteps keeps you feeling disconnected and unloved. Here's how to forgive yourself: Bring to mind an incident for which you were forgiven. Remember the good feelings and bask in them. If you believe in God or a higher power, ask for forgiveness. While doing this, try to see yourself from the perspective of someone who loves you unconditionally. Would they judge you as harshly as you judge yourself?

5. Tune in to Those Around You
For one day, decide to be courteous to everybody in your path--even buoyantly so. Your neighbor, your mailman, a stranger at the coffee shop, a cashier, colleagues, and of course, friends. Greet them, ask how they are, hold a door, give a smile and a compliment. At the end of the day you'll feel much happier, relaxed, and more connected.

6. Be a Good Friend
A good friend wants the best for you and is happy when something great happens in your life. Be that friend. Repair rifts in your friendships when possible. Rekindle old friendships--look up friends from childhood or college, or those who have moved away, and reach out to them. Reshape your friendship networks to be sure your friends provide a supportive mirror for your own values in life.

7. Nurture Your Creativity
Creativity brings joy, and the personality trait most linked to creativity is being open to experience--trying new things, being open to fantasy, discovering new connections. Foster your creativity by listening to music, reading literature, and viewing art. Try a different approach to a familiar routine, such as planting only purple flowers in your garden, or garnishing a salad with unusual delicacies, or mixing and matching your clothes in a new way. Or join a scrapbooking club or pottery class--anything that will get you in touch with your creative side, and with others in the process!

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Adapted from Why Good Things Happen to Good People by Stephen Post and Jill Neimark, with permission of Broadway Books.

Top 10 Reason Why I Need My Cellular Phone in My Everyday Life

1. Phone Calls : This is the main purpose why i need my cellphone. For my personal, work related and emergency calls.
2. SMS Messaging : This is one of the cheapest and fastest way of communications to my family, friends and other people i used to be with.
   
3. Camera (Photo) : I am using it also for photo shots. I enjoy taking a shot to myself and to my family and friends.
   
4. Video Camera : I used my phone camera when i feel making a video for my family and friends. I am uploading also some of my video taken on my youtube account.
5. Alarm Clock : It is my wake up call every morning and and during my working schedule.
   
6. Watch : I am not wearing any watch for so long now so i used my phone to remind of time.
   
7. Calendar / Reminder : I set reminder for my meeting, birthdays, bills due date or any important events that really matters to me.
   
8. Calculator / Conversion: I used my phone for any computations and conversion i need to solve for results.
   
9. Media Player : I used my phone for playing and listening to my favorite songs using my headset.
10. Games : I have my games installed on my phone so every time boredom comes to me i play games.
    

Spouses' Prayer

Lord Jesus,
grant that I and my spouse may have a true
and understanding love for each other.
Grant that we may both
be filled with faith and trust.
Give us the grace to live
with each other in peace and harmony.
May we always bear with one another's weaknesses
and grow from each other's strengths.
help us to forgive one another's failings
and grant us patience, kindness, cheerfulness
and the spirit of placing the well-being
of one another ahead of self.

May the love that brought us together
grow and mature with each passing year.
Bring us both ever closer to You
through our love for each other.
Let our love grow to perfection.

Christian, Catholic

source: Catholic Doors Ministry

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" I'm just sharing this prayer for all the couples who were reading it right now to make their relationship more stronger, be full of Love and keep their faith in the name of GOD. How i wish i could pray it too. Maybe not now but i hope someday ... much better soon (-; "

Eight Gifts That Don't Cost a Cent

In the economy of the heart, these presents are priceless.

As seen on Heartwarmers.

This simple checklist can help measure how you are nurturing your relationships.

The Gift of Listening
But you must really listen. Don't interrupt, don't daydream, don't plan your response. Just listen.

The Gift of Affection
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

The Gift of Laughter
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

The Gift of Solitude
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

The Gift of a Favor
Everyday, go out of your way to do something kind.

The Gift of a Written Note
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime.

The Gift of a Compliment
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job," or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone.

Love Thoughts

" Something to learn about LOVE, something i can relate about my past and possible ' future LOVE ' ... i hope these thoughts would also help to enlighten you guys in finding the true meaning of LOVE. enjoy reading --------- jeanne (-; "

1. You can never tell how people truly feel about you, couples live together for years then break up but how could you know unless you try. After all, what few broken hearts compared to finding true love???
2. Lover's weakest when there's more doubt than trust between two hearts. But it's stronger more doubts but we learn to trust in spite of the doubts.
3. Sometimes you wonder why you stay in a position that hurts you so much... you know you could do without the pain that you realize you love that person too much to go.
4. Remember girls : No guy is worth crying because if he's worth the tears, he wouldn't make you cry.
5. When you love someday, be ready to take the intensity of emotions. Be jealous, anxious. Love all you like. Take the pain and everything that comes with it. Just make sure the person is worth.
6. The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who'll love you most with all your flaws and imperfections and whom you'll love back as much.
7. There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn and people whom we can't love without but have to let go.
8. To real test of true love is having all the things go wrong, but still having special way to love in spite of all the wrong things that may happen.
9. Friendship can end in love but love can never end in friendship.
10. Never enter a person's life if you're meaning to step out of it later on.
11. Never say goodbye when you still want to try; Never give up when you still feel you can take it; Never say you don't love that person anymore when you can't let go.
12. To love is like playing the piano; first you learn to play by the rules then you must forget the rules and play from the heart.
13. Every step i took since the moment I could walk was a step toward finding you.
14. It's hard to say i love you not because you don't but because you do. Don't let a day pass without telling your special someone that you love him too.
15. When you're in love, don't get too high because it's not the fall hurts, it's the sudden stop.
16. Goodbyes make you think, they make you realize that what you've had, what you've lost and what you've taken for granted.
17. Time doesn't heal the wound in your hearts. It only makes the heart little number so that the next time it gets wounded, it wouldn't hurt as much as it did during the first time.
18. Love doesn't make the world go round; it just makes the ride worthwhile.
19. How can you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at the someone, all you ca think about is how much more you really want.
20. On the course of love, people must teach their hearts to be brave --- brave enough to hold when things go wrong and brave enough to let go when they realize that things are no meant to be after all.
21. The best part of loving is not hoping that a person loves you so much as you do but in knowing that you love her far more than you can.
22. It's friends that becomes the deepest lovers, its like one day, someone flicks the switch and you wake up and your best friends becomes the person you can never live without.
23. People say that when love comes knocking through the door, let it in. Sometimes it comes through the back door and by the time you notice it, it's on way out.
24. Three special people in our lives : (a) people we love but have to hate (b) people we hate but can't live without (c) people we can't live without but have to let go
25. Don't let we talk alone, i want to walk by your side. Don't let me talk to someone else, it's you i want to talk with. Don't let me fall for someone else, it's you i feel in love with.
26. How do you know if you've fallen real hard? It's when someone hurts you and you love him and then he hurts you only to find out you love him even more.
    
27. Love is sometimes denied, sometimes lost unrecognized. But in the end, always found ... with no regrets, forever valued, kept and treasured.
28. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over 'till the moment you stop trying.
29. Love is like the air, you'll never know it's there 'til you feel it, you'll never know it's gone 'till you need it.
30. The day you broke my heart, I dropped a tear in the ocean. When they find it, that's the time i will stop loving you.
31. Girl : If you feel for someone new, it's not because I love him, It's because you're not there to catch me fall. Guy : When you thought I wasn't there to catch you, It's because you never gave me the chance.
32. Reality bites! More often than not, you fall in love with a person you can't have, while the one who truly loves you remains either friend or stranger. True!
    
33. If you have the reason why you love a person, then you're using your mind. If you love a person for no reason at all, then you're using your heart.
34. Never leave things unsaid with the one you love, because you'll never know if you have another chance to say them again.
35. If you cannot keep him in your arms, keep him in your heart.
36. Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.
37. You have come in my life through a door, I was afraid it would never be open again for many have slammed it on the way out. Feel free to stay but if the time comes that you should leave, please close the door gently as you go.
38. Love isn't true simply by saying I Love You. Love isn't sincere when you pretend and not really do. Love will never stay and survive when you don't really mean it for love never dies.
39. Love is not about trying to find out a person's pass for it did not include it. It's all about how you take it in the present time for it is the you are currently in to.
40. How do i say goodbye to someone i never had? Why do tears fall for someone who was never mine? Why is it that I miss someone I was never with ? I'll ask, why do I love someone whose love was never mine?
41. Love is like standing in wet cement, the longer you stay, the hardest it is to leave and you never go without leaving your footsteps behind.
42. Time can mend a broken heart and time can break waiting heart.
43. Two teardrops were floating down the river, one drop said to the other, I am the teardrop of the girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you? Well, I am the teardrop of the man who regret letting a girl go.
44. I used to think that the world's unfair, that it gave me so many reasons to hate it, but now, how can I hate such a wonderful world that gave to you?
    
45. The tears shed over heartbreaks are the words left unsaid and left undone.
46. Love is a gift. If you are given this gift, try to appreciate it. If you haven't received it yet, don't be in a hurry. God is still wrapping it up for you.
47. If you lost someone, it means that someone needed him more than you did.
48. Admiration when lost can find a new one. Feeling when lost may never come back. Trust when lost is hard to regain. Love when lost wasn't true at all.
49. For every heart that finds a heart, there's a heart that cries. For every dream that's reborn, there's a dream that dies. For every hello you say, there's a sad goodbye.
50. It's amazing how you fall in love with someone who simply smiles, talks or stares at you. The only thing left to do is made that person fall for you too.

Top 10 Ways to Heal Spiritually from a Break-up

Tips for recovering your broken heart and taking the next step in your life.


In Tyler Perry's new movie, "The Family That Preys," paternity secrets, marital infidelity, greed and unsavory business dealings threaten to break up marriages and derail the lasting friendship between two families. To keep their friendship alive despite all the chaos, the two families’ matriarchs, Charlotte Cartwright (Kathy Bates) and her dear friend Alice Pratt (Alfre Woodard) embark on a cross-country road trip. Along the way, they rediscover themselves and find ways to save their loved ones from splitting apart.

A road trip is certainly an original way to handle break-up stress! Here are ten other great tips.

#1: Don't Blame God

It's tempting when you have lost a love even if you were the instigator of the breakup to channel feelings of loneliness and abandonment toward the heavens, blaming God for bringing you together as a couple only to have the relationship fall apart.

In the period just after the breakup, though, try to turn toward God or your higher power for support and direction, rather than turning away from your spiritual self.

Tip #2: Clean Up the Mess

Cleaning house can be a spiritual metaphor for inner cleansing. When you've just endured a breakup, that process becomes even more meaningful as you gather up your ex's clothes, books, music, and other stuff.

It might be painful to face the memories that are attached to those things, but once they're out the dooreither in the mail or the dumpster, as the case may beyou'll be surprised at the refreshing sense of soul-cleanliness that you feel.

Tip #3: Write It Out

After a breakup, the heart and soul often feel overwhelmed with emotions and memories. Pouring your anger, hurt, confusion, sadness, regret, or even relief or apology into a heartfelt letter to your ex is a great first step toward healing yourself of these feelings.

Then, make a ritual of getting rid of the letter instead of sending it. Either put it in a special private box, tuck it into a journal, or toss it into a crackling fire.

Tip #4: Try Something New

"Starting over" is a scary phrase associated with the aftermath of a breakup, but it can also be an exciting concept. Take a class to help you learn a new skill or hobby, learn a new language, or consider a new career direction.

Trying something new is a way to symbolically demonstrate to yourself that the world is a big place, and new opportunities in life and love are always available.

Tip #5: Relish Your Solitude

Being on your own is intimidating at times, but it is also a spiritual gift. Many forms of meditation are practiced in solitude, and practices from yoga to tai chi can also be done solo.

Create a space in your home that feels like a sanctuary to you. This will allow you to infuse your alone time with spirituality and remind you of the pleasure of your own company.

Tip #6: Love Your Life

No matter how bleak your life might feel after a breakup, there have to be some positive aspects that you're not questioning or struggling with. Think about what you love about your lifeit can be a meaningful job, a group of supportive, funny friends, a loving family, a comfortable home, anything that simply makes you happy.

Make a "gratitude list" and keep it on your night-table or somewhere else nearby so you can look at it instead of glancing wistfully at pictures of you and your ex.

Tip #7: Don't Be Afraid of Tears

Not to put too fine a point on it, but breaking up is hard to do. Crying is allowed, and so are anger, resentment, and fear about the future.

Give yourself permission to fully feel the pain of the loss, because only when you are honest with yourself about your feelings can you begin the healing process.

Tip #8: Take Care of Yourself

The stress of a breakup can leave your body feeling fragile and upset. Tend to your physical well-being to restore your feelings of self-worth, confidence, and attractiveness.

Start a satisfying new workout program, cook simple, healthy meals, or treat yourself to a soothing aromatherapy massage to reconnect with your inner beauty.

Tip #9: Believe in Yourself

Breakups aren't great for the self-esteem. If you did the breaking up, you might feel like a callous jerk. If you were dumped, you might feel un-loveable.

Sit down in a quiet place with your journal or a piece of paper and write yourself reminders of what you like about yourself. That's not to say there aren't lessons to be learned from every breakup, but you should come away feeling like the good and special person that you truly are.

Tip #10: Begin Again

At some point after your breakup, you will be ready to re-enter the dating scene. Watch your emotions carefully, and your intuition will tell you when you are ready to let go of your past relationship for good and open yourself up to the possibility of finding love again.

When you make that decision, you'll be ready to head outor onlinewith a renewed and refreshed spirit. As a first step, try the new Beliefnet Soulmatch, which has teamed up with Yahoo! Personals to help you find your spiritual partner.

Stress: Is Simplicity the Answer?

by Amy Scholten, MPH




Is your life more or less complicated than it was 10 years ago? How about 20 years ago? More and more people are finding that, in spite of technology and other modern conveniences, they have less time, get less sleep, and are more stressed than they were a decade ago. The reasons for this are, well, not so simple, but relate to a number of factors.

Today's Sources of Complexity

Too Many Options
When making a purchase, whether it's food, health and beauty products, cars, or computers, we confront an expanding array of brands, flavors, and options. Similarly, we also have more options in terms of careers and lifestyles, and this can make our lives busier and more complicated. Although choice can certainly be a good thing, it doesn't always make life simpler. Some people lose touch with their priorities when faced with too many options and distractions.

Technology
You have an urgent question to ask your healthcare provider and you reach an automated phone system instead of a person. Your new computer has a problem that no one in the office can fix and your work is put on "hold." Your new office phone has dozens of features, but you can't make sense of the complicated instruction manual. It's enough to make one question whether or not technology really makes life simpler.

Overconsumption
Mass production, mass marketing, and buying on credit has fueled a fervor of consumerism. People buy more than they need and end up burdened with clutter and debt.

Information Overload
Exchanges of information used to take place primarily among the people in one's immediate environment through personal contact. Gradually, more information was exchanged through letters, publications, telephone, radio, and television. Now we have rapid, world wide, mass communication through the internet, email, and fax machines, as well as diverse and increasing numbers of publications, radio, and television stations. More organizations tend to be created in response to increasing knowledge and information—along with more regulations and more bureaucracy.

Population Density
We went forth and multiplied. Now we wait in long lines, sit in traffic jams, and witness phenomenons such as "road rage."

Increased Cost of Living
Today it takes more money to live at the same standard of living as our parents did. Many women cannot afford to stay home with their children, and two-income families have become the norm. As a result, people are feeling strained by the lack of quality time and energy they can bring to their families and relationships.

Job Uncertainty
Many businesses have gone through phases of "merging and purging." Most people don't expect to stay at the same job for decades, but many are working longer and harder than ever.

Mobility
Increasing choices, and job and lifestyle changes are leading people to move more frequently. Look at your address book. How many times in the last 5, 10, or 20 years have you crossed off the addresses of friends and family members? How many times have they crossed off yours?

Rapid Change
Here today, gone tommorow—that seems to be the law of modern life. But unless we know how to manage it, rapid change can take its toll on physical and mental health, jobs, relationships, family life, and goals.

What Is Simplicity?
Making changes to simplify certain aspects of life can be the antidote to living in such a complex society. But simplification is a very individual matter—what's considered simple and stress-relieving to one person might be burdensome and stressful to another. For example, you may eat convenience foods because they save you time and energy. Your friend, on the other hand, may find convenience foods expensive and rather "inconvenient" for her family food budget.

The most important part of the simplification process is introspection—taking an honest and in-depth look at yourself and your life and then identifying things that can be changed. Simple enough? Yes and no. That is, some changes can be relatively easy to make. You may decide to unclutter your house by throwing out items that you really don't need and scaling back on your consumption. On the other hand, you may find that you need a major overhaul to find a simpler life—a change of career or financial goals, a geographical relocation, or a change in perception through intensive psychotherapy.
What makes the concept of simplication difficult for some people is that it implies that you must give up something. But many people derive invaluable benefits from simplifying their lives—more time, freedom, self-expression, and a chance to live with more clarity and meaning. Simplification is a deeply personal endeavor and should be approached with the following things in mind:

• Values/Priorities. What is most important to you? What would you have the hardest time living without—your health, spouse, family, friends, time, creative projects? (This can be a tricky one. For example, you may say that you value money, but by looking deeper within yourself, you may find that what you really value is freedom, self-reliance, time, friends, or self-esteem, which you think money will buy for you).
• Identity. Who are you? What talents, skills, activities, and types of environments bring you the most enjoyment? Are you living authentically—speaking your truth and living according to your own values (values that you've examined and owned) or someone else's?
• Time/Pace. How do you manage time and pace yourself? Is your natural pace 100 miles per hour or a bit slower and more reflective? Examine your current pace and your energy levels. If you're feeling exhausted or burned out, you may need to slow down, or at least change where you are focusing the majority of your energy.
• Purpose. What do you most want to do with your life and are you doing that right now? How do you wish to direct your talents? Are you living purposefully?
• Vision. What is your ideal lifestyle and environment? What would your life look like if you could design it exactly the way you wanted? You can't always "have it all," but think about how close you can get to that vision now, realistically.
  

Ways to Simplify Your Life
The list of things you can do to simplify your life is probably endless. Big changes will require a good deal of thought and planning. But there are many small changes you can make to simplify your life right now, such as:

• Buy a simple car—one that has less gadgets to fix.
• Do your shopping all at once, and preferrably in the same place.
• Reduce the clutter in your home and office. Throw out things that you don't use.
• Buy classic clothes that don't go out of style.
• Donate your dry cleanables.
• Shop during off-hours.
• Get a simple, low-maintenance hairstyle.
• Downscale to a smaller home or less expensive car.
• Find a way to turn your hobby into your primary source of income.
• Make a conscious effort to reflect upon and appreciate the simple things in your life—those things that you may be taking for granted.

Simplifying your life isn't always simple, but something as easy as getting more organized can be a big help. As some of the complexity decreases from your life, you may find greater clarity and peace of mind.

RESOURCES:
National Institute of Mental Health http://www.nimh.nih.gov/
National Mental Health Associationhttp://www.nmha.org

References:
Adams C. The Circle of Simplicity: Return to the Good Life. Harpercollins; 1998.
Aumiller G. Keeping It Simple: Sorting Out What Really Matters in Your Life. Probity Press; 1995.
Orem S, Demarest L. Living Simply: Timeless Thoughts for A Balanced Life Health Communications, Inc; 1994
St. James E. Living the Simple Life: A Guide to Scaling Down and Enjoying More. Hyperion; 1998.

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Last reviewed August 2007 by Marcin Chwistek, MD
Please be aware that this information is provided to supplement the care provided by your physician. It is neither intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. CALL YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER IMMEDIATELY IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider prior to starting any new treatment or with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
Copyright © 2006 - EBSCO Publishing All rights reserved.

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Nine Ways to Find Peace of Mind

By Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

We are an anxious nation...in fact, we are an anxious world. There is no question that uncertainty seems to have increased dramatically in the last few years. We worry about terrorism. We worry about war. We worry about losing our jobs. We worry about the dangers confronting our children. And on and on and on. This worry is understandable, given the state of the world at the present time, but there is no question in my mind that, with the right tools... All of us can rise above any situation that life hands us. All of us can live a fulfilling life in the middle of the turmoil. All of us can find a sense of peace and purpose. In my newest book, Embracing Uncertainty, I provide the tools that I have found most effective in helping us see the world in a more life-affirming and powerful way.






1. Un-Set Your Heart

Un-setting your heart means letting go of your picture of how you want it all to be. It means letting go of trying to control things over which you have no control. One of the prime causes of our suffering is our wanting things to be different than they are. Yes, we all want a peaceful world instead of a world filled with weapons of mass destruction. Yes, we all want health instead of illness. Yes, we all want healthy, happy children instead of children who break our hearts. But sometimes life doesn't hand us what we want. And when we un-set our hearts from our needing it all to be a certain way, we can breathe a sigh of relief and open the door to a more powerful way of living.





2. Create a Wondering Life Instead of a Hoping Life

It helps us un-set our hearts when we replace the words "I hope" with the words "I wonder." Let me demonstrate. Instead of "I hope the war ends quickly," make it "I wonder if the war will end quickly." Instead of "I hope the stock market goes up," make it "I wonder if the stock market will go up." Instead of "I hope I keep my job," make it "I wonder if I'll keep my job." Notice the relief in this simple shift. Even with difficult situations in our lives, substituting "I wonder" for "I hope" keeps our hopes from being dashed and opens up the possibility of our learning and growing from whatever happens.






3. Choose the Path of Trust

When you fully understand that you have little control of the external world, you then have two choices: you can choose to see yourself as a "poor-me" victim at the mercy of circumstances or you can choose to develop the trust that, no matter what happens in your life or in the world, you will have the inner strength to create something good from it all. Hopefully you will choose the latter!






4. Increase Your Inner Sense of Power

One way to help you develop trust in yourself is to cut off negativity in the mind by saying to yourself over and over again, "Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!" Those of you who are familiar with my work know that it is one of my favorite affirmations. I suggest you emblazon this powerful affirmation on your mind. If you say it often enough, you will ultimately believe it. And if you really believe that you can handle anything that happens in your life and in the world, what could you possibly have to fear? Nothing! So when the "what-if's" are driving you mad, simply cut them off by saying over and over again, "Whatever happens, I'll handle it!" You'll feel a sense of confidence wash over you. "What if I lose my job? I'll handle it." "What if my children have difficult times? I'll handle it. Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!"




5. Collect Heroes

Heroes to me are people who have created much good in this world as a result of horrible experiences in their lives. A few heroes come to mind: Christopher Reeve, who created so much good as a result of his paralyzing accident; Viktor Frankl, who created so much good out of his experience in a concentration camp; Ram Dass, who created so much good as a result of his debilitating stroke; Marc Klaas, who created so much good after the murder of his daughter. As you collect heroes, you understand this important thought: "If they can learn and grow from their experiences, I certainly can learn and grow from mine!" As you collect your heroes, your trust grows and your worry about the future gets smaller and smaller.



6. Focus on the Learning

Yes, you can learn and find strength from anything that happens to you, just as the heroes mentioned above have done. I certainly learned from and found strength as a result of my own experiences with cancer and divorce. If you see ALL situations in life as a way of learning and growing, it helps you let go of your need for things to be a certain way.

War = a way of learning
Wealth = a way of learning
Peace = a way of learning
Depression = a way of learning
Illness = a way of learning
Joy = a way of learning
Health = a way of learning
Poverty = a way of learning

So despite what is happening in your life and in the world, constantly remind yourself "I can learn from this." When you can see the opportunities inherent in all situations, good or bad, it truly helps you embrace all the uncertainty in your life.



7. Embrace the Thought, "It's All Happening Perfectly"

This is another affirmation I use over and over. And it truly helps me let go of my needing things to be a certain way. "Susan, how can things be happening perfectly when there is possibility of war, terrorism, illness, poverty, and violence?" My answer to that is that we cannot know the "Grand Design," the great mystery of it all, and as we say "It's all happening perfectly," we begin looking for the good in any situation that life hands us. When we look for the good, we always find it. Yes, so much good can come from so much that is bad. In that, it truly is happening perfectly. So when things seem very difficult in your life or in the world, just keep repeating this reassuring statement until it becomes an automatic part of your thinking. This always helps me to have trust, not only in myself, but also the Grand Design.



8. Focus on the Blessings


I have learned from my heroes that, no matter how horrible life may seem on the outside, it is so important to focus on the beauty. As we go about our daily lives, we take so many wonderful things for granted. It's now time to notice. Strangely, this is hard to do, especially when we have our eyes focused on the bad. It sounds ridiculous, but we actually have to train ourselves to notice all the beauty in our lives. And train ourselves, we must... because focusing on the blessings is an absolute necessity for diffusing our fears about the future. A suggestion: As you go about your day, stop for a moment and notice when something wonderful happens. Then say to yourself while still in the glory of the moment, "I have had this." This is the acknowledgment that "No matter what happens tomorrow, I have had this today." It is in the noticing of the little things that you truly get the feeling of a life well-lived... that wonderful hot shower, that kiss from a loved one, the fact that your car started, that great dinner you are eating, the warm rays of the sun, a candy bar, a wonderful television show...



9. Get Involved

Positive action has an amazing effect on our psyche. As we take action, we begin to feel more powerful and our fear about the future decreases considerably. Keep repeating to yourself: "My life has meaning and I will do whatever I can to make this a better world."

Then ask yourself, "What am I called to do?" Make a list of what comes to mind, and begin taking action. When you remember that your life has meaning, it makes it so much easier to push through the fear and live a life that matters. And your self-esteem grows and grows. Just as importantly, you will have found the secret of creating a joyous and fulfilling life.

As you make these tools a part of your daily life, you experience a whole new sense of purpose and power emerging from within, and you look forward to the future with an attitude of great possibility -- for yourself and for your world.


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Source URL : http://www.beliefnet.com/gallery/findpeaceofmind.html

Prayer for Meaningful Work

Loving God, you made us co-creators in the process of your creation, blessing us with wisdom, reason, creativity, and skill. Bless all who seek meaningful employment that they may provide for the well-being of their families. Let those who have more than they need for life's necessities be moved to use their wealth to create new opportunities for others. Let those who have skills be open to sharing the riches of their knowledge with those who seek the opportunity to learn. Let us all learn from one another, for you have blessed every human being with a gift for the benefit of the common good. And thereby enable us by the power of your Holy Spirit to build up the body of Christ on this earth that your name be proclaimed and blessed through the good work of all; in Christ’s name we pray.

Amen.

- Vienna Cobb Anderson

How to understand men

by Shannon Beinek

The first key to understanding men is realizing the vast difference between male and female thought processes. Early in my present relationship, I was uncertain about how to put this concept to work. A blank stare meant my significant other was uninterested back then. An "I love you" declared without enough heart was a deep sarcastic stab. His forgetting our six month anniversary meant he didn't care anymore. My assumptions confused him, but I could only stop making them once I understood him better.

Men often don't share what bothers them because they want to seem indestructible. Still, every man needs to be reminded that he makes his significant other happy. It will make him feel useful and appreciated. I thought my husband knew whenever he was doing well, but I've learned over time that he needs to hear praise from me. It's the same kind of reassurance I need from him. He's just less likely to ask for it.

Males will avoid conversation for the most part. Women should call their girlfriends to gab for hours. Talking to my one-and-only, I used to get angry when his eyes glazed over. Then I realized that mine do the same thing when he talks about sports! How unfair of me was that? I've learned to get straight to the point. Men don't favor small talk. They say what they mean, mean what they say, and expect the same from women. Inflection means little in male-speak.

Behind the gruff and tough male exterior usually lies less of a grizzly bear, and more of teddy bear. I've lovingly poked fun at my husband's receding hair and doughboy stomach. He didn't look phased, but it hurt his feelings, and he told me that later. Men can be as sensitive as women. They usually won't show it for fear of looking or sounding weak. One of the worst things women can do is belittle men, especially in public, because they always want to look strong and respected.

A few years ago, my husband and I got into a heated argument. He walked away. I called him a coward. In actuality, he was letting of steam and clearing his head. He didn't want to talk to me, and I was frustrated that he wouldn't tell me what he was thinking. That never happens anymore. Men have unusual thoughts that they don't always want to share, so I stopped asking him to. If quiet, he could also be cooling off, and will talk to me about the issue in due time.

It would have been a huge mistake to command him to tell me what he was thinking. Being told what to do doesn't make men feel manly at all. I was surprised when Mr. Right quipped, "Sound more like my wife, and less like my boss, okay? I'll probably listen to you better." I was only trying to be helpful, but he didn't need direction. The last thing a grown man needs is another boss or an extra parent.

Men need food, sex, sleep, and challenges. These four things combined are the key to every man's heart. Male craving for challenge means that occasionally, they need to be told "no". If a man seems bored, chances are he isn't hearing that word quite enough. For the women who have learned to think like them, males are not difficult to figure out. Men want to feel dominant and useful, get straight to the point in conversation, and have their four basic needs fulfilled. Really, what more could a guy ask for?

The Greatest Things of Life

" I saw this article in Experience Project and i find it good... i think most of greatest things stated here is true. "

1. The Greatest Things – Are not things at all.
2. The Greatest Mystery – Death.
3. The Greatest Gift – Life.
4. The Greatest Work – What you love doing.
5. The Greatest Recreation – Based on the point above: Work.
6. The Greatest Feeling – Happiness.
7. The Greatest Sorrow – A broken heart.
8. The Greatest Sight – A sight imagined, but physically unseen.
9. The Greatest Thought – "I can."
10. The Greatest Want – Acceptance.
11. The Greatest Need – Awareness.
12. The Greatest Trick – Proving the impossible to be possible.
13. The Greatest Waste – Hatred.
14. The Greatest Asset – Your mind.
15. The Greatest Tool – Your body.
16. The Greatest Smell – A familiar smell.
17. The Greatest Sense – Touch.
18. The Greatest Relationship – Long-term friendship.
19. The Greatest Criminal – A liar.
20. The Greatest Bankruptcy – Lack of confidence.
21. The Greatest Mistake – Quitting.
22. The Greatest Moment – Now.
23. The Greatest Bore – Repetition.
24. The Greatest Manufacturing – Recycling.
25. The Greatest Companion – One you can trust.
26. The Greatest Deception – Self-deception.
27. The Greatest Evil – War.
28. The Greatest Fool – One who thinks he knows it all.
29. The Greatest Sound – Silence.
30. The Greatest Art – Music.
31. The Greatest Love – Thyself.
32. The Greatest People – Family and Friends.
33. The Greatest Conversation – One that inspires action.
34. The Greatest Hero – A teacher.
35. The Greatest Laugh – One that hurts.
36. The Greatest Encounter – A pleasant surprise.
37. The Greatest Story – A true story.
38. The Greatest Communication – Eye contact.
39. The Greatest Wealth – Love.
40. The Greatest Beauty – Is an opinion.
41. The Greatest Compliment – An unexpected one.
42. The Greatest Step – The first step.
43. The Greatest Accomplishment – Finishing what you started.
44. The Greatest Resource – Time.
45. The Greatest Exercise – Sex.
46. The Greatest Service – Helping someone in need.
47. The Greatest Force – Momentum.
48. The Greatest Space – Uncluttered space.
49. The Greatest expression – A smile.
50. The Greatest Comfort – Familiarity.

A personal story from the experience group: I Know the Greatest Things of Life
By Aalekh5 of Experience Project

Top Ten Signs You're Dating a High Maintenance Girl

" Just a tip for those dating guys out there for you to see if the one you're dating is too hard to handle. Hope you'll be wise enough to see their true colors and find time to date a more deserving girl .... like me --- just kidding (-; "



G entleman, too many of us fall prey to the High Maintenance Girl. And too many of us don't see the warning signs until it is, alas, too late and we have been reduced to snivelling, weak, insecure shells of our true, pre-High Maintenance Girl days. To that end, I present to you my list of Top Ten Warning Signs that You're Dating a High Maintenance Girl. Enjoy. And get out while you still can-- denial helps no one.

Number 10: She wears hats (not baseball caps), especially of the wide-brimmed variety. Nothing screams Luvvy from Gilligan's Island like a damn hat-wearing girl.

Number 9: She ties a sweater around her waist. This one is controversial, but more often than not, a girl who tries to hide her big butt with an expensive sweater is high maintenance. See, what you don't know is that she spent at least 45 minutes adjusting that thing to look perfect. And what *she* doesn't know is that it just makes her ass look bigger by drawing attention to it and adding another couple inches.

Number 8: She loves to order wine with dinner. Listen, eating out is expensive enough, I don't need you to add another $36 for a couple ounces of liquid that you'll inevitably complain about. Truth: the happiest alcoholic moments in any guy's life have NEVER involved wine, so we obviously don't need it. The only reason we have it is to pretend to be sophisticated so high maintenance girls can like us. Lame. Super lame.

Number 7: You get dirty looks if your car isn't spotless, inside or out. In other words, she's embarrassed to ride with you based on the superficial aspects of your car. I'm a busy man and I park my car outside. Washing it today just gives the bird's a more satisfying target tomorrow. I'll wash it for special events or if I become a road hazard, but anything beyond that is a waste of either time or money, neither of which I have in copious amounts.

Number 6: She comments on what you're wearing-- when you thought what you were wearing was totally snazzy. I'm not talking about the guys who wear threadbare clothing or mismatch colors or whatever-- we need to be called out when we do things like that. I'm talking about you wearing a nicely pressed shirt that you're pretty convinced is cool, and she just crushes it with the ever-familiar "Um, what are you wearing?" or my personal favorite, "Where'd you get that shirt?"

Number 5: You're always late wherever you go, mostly because she takes six and a half frickin' hours to get ready, wherever you go. Worse yet, to you, she looks exactly the same at minute 15 as she does at minute 380. Now watch out, because this one turns passive aggressive quickly. Soon, you'll start to notice that she's *especially* late when you're supposed to go somewhere with your family or your friends. But tread with caution, because if you bring it up, you can expect a royal crushing since she'll get emotional and say 'How dare you! I'm just trying to look good for your friends and family because I want them to like me!' Lose-lose situations are so much fun!

Number 4: Everyone can get away with things, except for you. Her family treats her like crap? She's still their lapdog. Her friends totally stand her up? No biggie. But you, my dear friend, better *always* be *perfect*. If you ever bring this up, wear armor. She will say something about how she holds her boyfriend/husband to a higher standard and then you'll somehow look like a jackass even though you're right.

Number 3: You try to do something nice, and she totally misses the point and finds the one possible thing you didn't do right. Surprise her with breakfast in bed and she'll bitch you out for not making her favorite toast. Get her flowers and she'll make some comment about it being the wrong season for the ones you chose. I don't have to give any more examples, because the sinking feeling in your stomach is providing you with visceral reminders already.

Number 2: You have to constantly worry about her at social events. You can't just walk away and chat with some friends without making sure she knows where you are or comes with you. You're always concerned that she's not having a good time-- because she's not. She won't mix with anyone, and all of her conversations are superficial and your friend's all come away thinking she's cold and/or bitchy. You know the most demeaning part of this situation? You can't even go to the bathroom without telling her, lest she start looking for you and not find you for five minutes. You don't want that to happen as you'll get the royal bitch-out on the car ride home and she'll threaten to not come to events again. You secretly celebrate that option, but can't show it.

Number 1.5 (had to squeeze this one in there): She refuses to drink water that comes from a tap, even if its filtered. This not only demonstrates high levels of maintenance, it shows that she's basically an irrational idiot too.

And the number one sign you're dating a High Maintenance Girl.......

Number 1: She rains on your parade. Not a drizzle either, but Noah's flood. If you're happy, your girl should be happy. If you're happy and instead your girl finds little snide remarks that on the surface seem supportive but over time actually dig at you, you have yourself a high maintenance girl. Want an example?

"Honey I got a raise"

"Great... now you'll never leave that job."

"Umm... thanks, I guess?"

There's more where this came from. I'm your soothsayer, your truth-bearer. I call it like I see it. Shoot me a line if you want to talk.

A personal story from the experience group: I Hate High Maintenance Girls
By TheTruth of Experience Project